When I consider what it means to support someone with grief, I think of how so many people feel they need to grieve alone. And how it is implied that their grief should be over at a certain time, as if sorrow and loss should be hidden from view. But what if grief is seen as a natural element to life, an opportunity to open and live fully? There is this possibility that during times of grief we are broken apart, yet have the wonderful chance to rebuild ourselves into someone stronger, more present in the world, more open to others.
Grief comes to everyone, and in many different forms—the loss of a loved one; loss of a relationship, job, home; loss of a kind of life we did not choose; sorrow for the way we were wounded when we were young. Who hasn’t felt some of these in their lives? The challenge is to learn how to live with our grief and not collapse or turn away in denial.
With this in mind, we can be with grief by staying present in this current adult self. We can learn ways to meet and express our sorrows, whether it is through writing, drawing, meditation, prayer, dance, ritual or something else, as long as we stay. Attention can be given to this pain with attunement, love and trust.
It may take time, but the outcome of being alive is more enticing than living under the constant weight of pain, is it not?
Embrace your grief, for there your soul will grow.
Carl Jung
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